The moment someone gets down on one knee and asks, “Will you marry me?” is often portrayed as the epitome of love and romance. It’s supposed to be a moment of pure joy, where the answer is a tearful, enthusiastic “Yes!” But what if it isn’t? What if, deep down, you know that saying “Yes” isn’t the right choice? Pastor Advocate LL Holele reminds us that marriage isn’t for everyone, and sometimes, saying “No” is the most honest and brave response.
Marriage: A Deep, Personal Choice
In Matthew 19:11-12, Jesus offers a perspective that’s often overlooked. He says, “Not everyone is mature enough to live a married life. It requires a certain aptitude and grace. Marriage isn’t for everyone.” These words remind us that marriage is not something to be taken lightly or done just because it’s expected.
For some people, marriage might not be the right path. Maybe it’s because of their personal circumstances, or perhaps they simply don’t feel called to that kind of commitment. Some people never think about marriage, while others may not have the chance to marry, or they might choose to remain single for reasons that are deeply personal or spiritual.
Growing Into Marriage
Marriage is often described as a journey, one that requires us to grow, mature, and be ready for the challenges and joys it brings. It’s not just about finding the right person—it’s about becoming the right person, too. Jesus speaks to the idea that marriage demands more than just love; it demands patience, understanding, and a willingness to grow together.
Encouraging Marriage, Understanding Choice
At Couples Foundation International, we believe deeply in the value and sanctity of marriage. We work to support couples in building strong, healthy relationships that last a lifetime. But we also understand that marriage isn’t for everyone, and that’s okay. The decision to marry should come from a place of love, readiness, and a true understanding of what marriage means—not from pressure or expectations.
Marriage is a beautiful and profound journey, but it’s not the only path to a fulfilling life. If you feel ready and willing to embrace all that marriage entails, we encourage you to do so. But if you realize that marriage isn’t the right choice for you, it’s important to honor that truth. There’s no shame in saying “No” when it’s the right answer for you.
Final Thoughts
The question, “Will you marry me?” is a significant one, but the answer should be as well. It requires self-reflection, honesty, and an understanding of what you truly want. Whether you say “Yes” or “No,” let it be a decision made with your whole heart, grounded in who you are and what you need.
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Couples Foundation International (CFI) is here to support you, whether you’re on the path to marriage or exploring other life choices. Our mission is to help you find fulfillment in your relationships, whatever form they may take.
